Friday, January 27, 2012



Throughout the film and afterwards
With Birgitta 
I could only think of him:
A desperate call
That fateful night--
On that worst of days. 

Decades earlier he and I had played
"Reporter Joe" in my dim recall
With echoes in my mind of
"Freedom lies!
My people, 
Blind to bondage,
Hate the Serpent..."

Devon's recent search
Ivan's absent Presence
Michael's pious silence...

Still earlier,
The sentimental journey with my dad
--the only one--
Would be his last days in the flesh

Now a treasured memory
Of righting wrong
Amid an awful Blackness...

Still earlier a prophet said:
"...You will know
Of a certainty
What your work is
Before this mission is through."


Dark has turned to Light.
We have found our people.

27 Jan 12

Monday, January 23, 2012

Buffalo Deer Dance, San Ildefonso’s feast day.

Event: 23 January 2012;

The most important feast day of the year is in honor of San Ildefonso, patron saint of the pueblo, when the Buffalo Deer Dance is performed.

Deer Dancer
Martinez, Richard (Opa Mu Nu)

Buffalo Dancer
Martinez, Julian

Deer Dance
Sanchez, Abel (Red Cloud)
After the Dances, we dined at Mamma Gonzales's, Myron was at the head of the table. On top of the cabinet on the dining room south wall, I spied the many inserts of their Russian doll from Sarov and sang for my supper a favorite Russian folk song. Myron thought it was worth being on American Idol. "Too old", I said to which an old woman to my left replied. "Not so! Indians never grow too old!"

Friday, January 13, 2012

Finding Ivan's daughter! or Devon finds her grandfather.

Event: Friday, 13 Jan 12,  10:30 PM; Updated: 16 Jan 12

Whoever said that Friday the Thirteenth bodes an ill wind? I beg to differ!

In preparing to retire for the evening, I checked my email before shutting down the PC. A simple message from FaceBook had come in at 10:02 PM:
Hello Eugene,
I believe you are my biological grandfather, by your late son Ivan. My name is Devon...I'm not to sure what else to say. If you are interested I am sure I will hear back from you. And if you are I am glad to have found you.
It took a few minutes for me to register its message. I did a quick search on FaceBook to check it out.

Devon Bailey wants to be friends with you on Facebook.
San Francisco, California
305 friends · 153 photos · 1 note · 326 Wall posts

At 10:47 PM I replied:
Dear Devon, My God!! What a wonderful surprise! Please call me and tell me more. I'm quite stunned, but eager to get acquainted. My phone numbers are: 505.661.9713 (h); 505.310.0098 (cell) Let me hear from you tomorrow morning as soon after 9 as you wish. I'm just getting ready to retire for the evening. Be blessed, Eugene
At 11:14 PM she replied:
I will call you as soon as I wake up! I'm happy with your reaction, can't stop smiling. :)
The following morning, while Birgitta and I were having late breakfast, Devon called. And thus, on the speaker phone, began a first long conversation about her, her biological father Ivan, her marvelous parents and her now-found biological grandfather.
A new family saga has begun....

Lessons from the Light: most important book I've read

Posted: Friday 13 Jan 12; Updated:

A few days ago I finished reading Lessons from the Light: What can we learn from the near-death experience by Kenneth Ring. It is easily the most important book I've read to date. Today I called the international office of IANDSInternational Association for Near Death Studies, which Ring co-founded, looking to find information about local IANDS groups. I was informed by Martina, who answered the phone, that there were none in northern New Mexico or southern Colorado. When I noticed their office was located in Durham, N.C. I  mentioned to Martina that I once was invited by Prof. J. B. Rhine of Duke University (in Durham) to join him in his new Foundation for Research on the Nature of Man (FRNM). "Interesting", she said, "we share the building with that organization." Another synchronicity! Looks like LADDOF may have to start a local group.

Below are the front and back covers of the book.

Thursday, January 12, 2012


Posted: Thursday, 12 Jan 2012.  Updated:

Yesterday afternoon (Wednesday), after returning home from meeting with the board of the the Arts in Public Places organization regarding The Los Alamos Story Tree project, I found myself whistling. I don't do that much these days, but it used to be something I did often. Like when I first went to Moscow representing the Northwest-Soviet Liaison Corporation in September 1973 during the height of the Cold War, I would happily whistle in public while walking from hotel room to the U.S. Embassy. It soon became apparent that that was something Soviet citizens found odd when their heads would turn to stare at me puzzled, if not alarmed. No bother. I was obviously happy to be there helping to bridge the communication gap between belligerent countries and ideologies.

Birgitta likes it when I whistle. She has discovered that it means I am happy. When I became conscious yesterday that I was whistling, I began listening to the tune coming through my lips to figure out what it was. Wow! It struck me that it was a phrase from Handel's Messiah, the bass aria "But who may abide the day of his coming..."! I used to sing that aria every year as the bass soloist for ten years running in an annual production of the Messiah when I lived in Southern California in the 1980s. I also recalled an epiphany [life-anchor point] one special day in July 1965 and then singing that aria atop a mountain in Yosemite near Tioga Pass.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Trip to Salt Lake City

Posted: Monday, 2 Jan 2012
Updated: Monday, 27 Oct 14

Salt Lake City Mormon Temple
In late December 2011, I drove to Salt Lake City to be with my youngest son, John, and to meet with three old Mormon male leaders who had played major roles in my past Mormon life. I had been unsuccessful in contacting these men by phone or letter in previous months and years and felt strongly the need to meet with them face to face. The trip was a success in an unexpected way.

After arriving at Johnny's residence (not far from the SLC Temple) late Monday night (26 Dec), I awoke the next morning with a dream that gave me a strong sense of encouragement for my trip's purpose. (See xxxx).

My first task was to deliver a box of personal papers and other materials to the University of Utah Special Collections Library. I met with the archivist, Elizabeth (Liz) Rogers, who had taken the place of Stan Larson after his retirement the previous summer. (Stan had originally solicited my materials in 2004.) My first meeting with Liz surprised me by bringing to mind a dream character I'd interviewed the previous year. (See xxxx). 

Next, I called John Carmack, who invited me to meet him that day at 1:00 in his office at the Church Office Building. Carmack, now director of the LDS Church's Perpetual Education Fund, had been stake president of the Los Angeles stake where I was then living. I had been re-baptized into the Church on 25 July 1975. What was to have been a short meeting turned into 2 hours.

Later that same day I met with Oscar W. McConiie, Jr. and USAF Col. L. Jack Tueller (ret).

I failed to meet with Victor B. Cline and Morris A. Kjar, as intended.