Sunday, May 20, 2018

RPK Experiment, Phase 2: New Life!

Posted: 20 May 2018
Updated: 
RPK Icon
I thought I'd put this experiment away when I took it down earlier this month and sent the apparatus to the special collection archives at the University of Utah library. 

But then it took on new life. See here for update.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Where [Spiritual] Discoveries Are Made!

Posted: 11 April 2018
Updated: 15Apr18


What better place than the birthplace of THE BOMB for wounded, traumatized warriors, who have risked their lives for their country, to lead the way in exploring "Where Spiritual Discoveries Are Made" for themselves, each other and their country?

Stone moniker looking east 
in Los Alamos on Hwy 502

Los Alamos VFW Post 8844 will host Phase 2 (Tip of the Spear) Pilot Dream Workshop this coming Saturday, 14 April, 2018 at the Post back room from 10:00 to Noon. All local VFW vets with PTSD nightmares are welcome. None need disclose dream contents unless they feel safe. We have learned in Phase 1 of this pilot initiative that participants can experience deep healing "Aha!" insights in the company of trusted comrades.  

15 April 2018.  The day after.
Whiteboard at VFW Post 8844 back room
Ahem... I got only this far in drawing the standard "CREEI scan" chart layout for the workshop beforehand, before I ran out of energy to complete it. I was hoping one of the participants would help me complete it before everybody else arrived. You see that it is blank!

But no one came, except for Victor, the Post Chaplain, who had successfully completed Phase One of this pilot project and who knew the value and potential of the program. So, we talked privately for the scheduled two hours, which made it by no means a waste of time!

Nevertheless, we had to reconsider the reasons for the no show of everyone, despite multiple email reminders. We have many factors to consider before scheduling the next workshop.

Later in the evening of the workshop, I received a FB apology from the one VFW veteran I'd most hoped would attend the workshop, since I had felt his unique experience with PTSD nightmares would give us better insight in continuing this pilot program. He wrote:
Eugene...I didn't show up because I was in the middle of medication adjustment and a building migraine headache....my apologies.
More later.....



Sunday, April 8, 2018

Open Letter to Vladimir Putin on Russian Easter


Posted: 8 April 2018
Updated: 19Apr18


“Пасха” 2018
Los Alamos

Dear Vladimir Vladimirovich,

Today is Russian Easter. I have been thinking about an open letter to you since you first appeared in my dreams on 23 April two years ago, which was posted on Facebook that morning. [See: https://eugenesjourneycontinues.blogspot.com/2016/04/putins-mystery-visit.html] In mind, as I write this letter, is a passage from Pasternak’s great, but repressed Nobel Prize winning novel about Him, whom “Пасха” is all about. Pasternak’s philosophical character, Nikolai Nikolaievich, pens something near scriptural to me:

“[The] ancient world ended with Rome…a flea market of borrowed gods and conquered peoples…and all wretched.

“And then, into this tasteless heap of gold and marble, He came, light and clothed in an aura, emphatically human, deliberately provincial, Galilean, and at that moment gods and nations ceased to be and man came into being—man the carpenter, man the plowman, man the shepherd with his flock of sheep at sunset, man who does not sound in the least proud, man thankfully celebrated in all the cradle songs of mothers and in all the picture galleries the world over.”

And:

“…If the beast who sleeps in man could be held down by threats—any kind of threat, whether of jail or of retribution after death—then the highest emblem of humanity would be the lion tamer in the circus with his whip, not the prophet who sacrificed himself. But don’t you see, this is just the point--what has for centuries raised man above the beast is not the cudgel but an inner music: the irresistible power of unarmed truth, the powerful attraction of its example…”

This morning I awoke from a dream, having just played chess with a master, who has surprised me by capturing my rook with his pawn at h1. In waking, I am assessing whether to continue or resign. 

[Note: since this is an open letter, other readers should understand that my inner chess-master character has exhibited a powerful defense by gently showing how easily he took my rook with a lowly pawn and, of course, could turn it into a queen to demonstrate an overwhelming advantage without even having to announce checkmate! It is comforting to me to know that my inner world has such a clever, powerful chess-playing partner that I can count on if I should get tangled up with more powerful chess-savvy opponents.

In checking my FB record to review the above-mentioned 23 April dream and the FB post of it two years ago, I discovered that it had been deleted! All posts before and after that date are still there, but not that one. I doubt that FB administrators would have deleted it without notifying me first. This gives me pause in continuing my intent to publish this letter, while always wondering about the nature of inner versus outer reality. One of my insightful friends, author of Nobel-Prize-worthy Quantum Mind: The Edge between Physics and Psychology, reminds me that “Inner work is world work.” And so, I continue.

In reflecting on inner conversations with you since your appearance in my April 23, 2016 dream, Vladimir Vladimirovich, I have wondered what reports your people have made to you about me that you referred to in the dream. Is it that over my entire adult life, from age 19 when I joined the US Army just before Stalin died in 1953 until now, I have been preoccupied with searching for and getting to know my Ukraine-born father’s “Rodina” (the only important Russian word I knew as a boy)? 

This was because my father had been conscripted at age 14 in 1917, along with his entire high school class, into the Russian White Army to fight the Bolsheviks in the Russian Revolution-civil war. After the war he became a war refugee, then a merchant marine before jumping ship in Boston and becoming an illegal alien for two decades before winning American citizenship during WW2.  Dad told me once in my boyhood that he had become a mounted partisan during the Russian civil war in a group, which had the assignment they humorously referred to as “Chasing after Махно”, whom they could never catch. Imagine my surprise to discover, long after my dad’s death in 1964, that the historical Makhno had been immortalized in Pasternak’s novel as his character “Strelnikov”!

Or could it be that your reports contained reference to my personal clandestine assignment to Project Stopwatch-Gold in Berlin, where I began to develop a strange talent, uniquely valued by American authorities, but which could not be explained by our most skilled linguists in London or Washington despite minutely scouring the tape recordings of your people, but finding no reference on the tapes to the information I had been able to provide? I have often wondered over the years since if I had been unwittingly and unconsciously reverse programmed by your people with that useful-to-my people stuff, which I did not actually understand myself—but they did. 

This suspicion became enhanced in my mind soon after my father’s death when I suddenly became aware of an inexplicable "psi-warfare" offensive being developed by your people, initiated by your legendary scientist L. L. Vasiliev in Leningrad in the 1920s and beyond, described in his 1957 publication “Experiments in Mental Suggestion”. As American scientist Russell Targ has written in his recent republication of Vasiliev’s book:
     Professor L. L. Vasiliev was a pioneering consciousness researcher in the heart of Stalinist Russia. His investigations convincingly demonstrated that the thoughts of one person can directly affect the physiology and behavior of a distant person.

       Most famously, he showed that he personally could hypnotize and put to sleep hypnotic subjects that were inside electrically and acoustically shielded rooms, or even thousands of miles away.

       This interest in distant behavior modification has been, and is, the hallmark of Soviet parapsychological research right up to the present time.

My interest at that time became: how does one protect against such a manipulative offensive? I believe I have learned how to do this in recent years, which is why I am emboldened to write this letter.

Continuing my wondering about the reports you mentioned in my 23 Apr 2016 dream, could it be that they included my work with the Northwest-Soviet Liaison Corporation in 1973-74 and my September letter to the Ministry of Foreign Trade in Moscow? [See: http://orthodoxodyssey.blogspot.com/2009/12/moscow-1973-unintentional-missionary.html]. 

Or, my subsequent poem a week later on the eve of leaving Moscow after my first visit? [See: http://orthodoxodyssey.blogspot.com/1983/09/forest-dream-remembered.html]. 

Or, could it be my later poems “Rodina” (1987) to prepare for a first visit to Ukraine and “Liahonagrad” (1988), after visiting Kiev for the first time and singing on Shevchenko’s grave in Kanev? [Rodina. We of your exiled sons, come seeking roots beyond our Celtic ones and older, silent fears. Like Viking guests with Slavic souls, we seek now whole new worlds to heal our blindness. We would learn of you and learn new songs.]

Or, what about this naive 1988 draft “novel” first chapter called “Task Force” about more relevant terrorist issues of concern to both our countries? [See: http://orthodoxodyssey.blogspot.com/2009/12/task-force-culture-bridge.html]. Who knows what could have happened, had our leaders here in America been open to this initiative at the time?

Or, could it have been the report from two young Russian Orthodox women who visited us in Long Beach on Russian Easter in 1989? [See: http://orthodoxodyssey.blogspot.com/1989/04/russian-easter-at-long-beach-third-ward.html.]

Or, a symposium paper I wrote in 1989, called “Mormon Mission to Moscow”? [See: https://eugenenkovalenkophd.com/documents/MormonMissiontoMoscow.pdf 

Vladimir Vladimirovich, this letter is far too long and you are likely too busy to have read much of it, should it ever capture your attention. But I have a few last things to say about recent developments between our two countries before signing off. I am an old man now with not much time left on this planet.

As I have seen some of your outer behavior through the distorted lenses of our respective news agencies, I have noticed how moved you became on several occasions when hearing your national anthem played at certain international events. This reflects your heart’s concern to me, which I honor.

I have wondered more than once, after the fall of the Soviet Union, how sincere you were when you claimed membership in the Russian Orthodox Church tradition. Given your KGB background, was it more than opportunism or cynicism that led to that choice? 

Forgive my impertinence for such a question. 

I believe you are in a position, which is far greater than our current American president, to set an example that could bless our two countries, as well as all others on this planet. In such a position, I’m confident that you and your people are not a little amused at how easy it is to penetrate our American defenses, whether military, psychological, cyber technological or parapsychological. 

But when you use criminal or manipulative means to achieve dominance in whatever arena you are focused on, it can only lead to grief in the long run. It needn’t be this way if by some wonderful, truly Christ-centered way you could apply a partnering attitude instead. I think of the examples of the two Russian Orthodox priests, Father Arseny and Pavel Florensky, whose reported Christ-like behavior in the Soviet gulags, despite their horrific suffering, converted me to Orthodoxy. 

Hence, my chrismated name is Arseny-Pavel. Since our current US president (to say nothing of many other leaders) is easily manipulated, as you have obviously discovered over many years, he is not likely ever to notice, let alone acknowledge, this vulnerable self-aspect. I have little, if any, hope that he and his core constituents can ever be approached as I am approaching you now. In this vein am thinking about St. Pavel Florensky’s definition of “prelest” in his classic 1922 book “Iconostasis”. See: http://orthodoxodyssey.blogspot.com/2009/03/prelest.html.

After I was trained to be a Russian language interrogator by the Army Language School as a young soldier during the Cold War, I was privy to listening in to direct communications between the Red Army High Command in Berlin and Moscow. I was also privy to conversations by the KGB, which I learned years later was aware of the operation I served in from its beginning. [See: YouTube British video “Spies Beneath Berlin”]. I learned that these two Soviet organizations did not trust each other and had little interaction. Furthermore, I noticed that the behavioral contrast between them, while listening in on those tapped telephone lines, was clear and obvious. Whereas the Red Army officers, including Marshal Grechko at the top, often seemed crude and questionable and always identified themselves, the KGB impressed me greatly by their intelligence and subtle precision. Nor did they ever identify themselves. 

To my mind, it was no wonder that when Mikhail Gorbachev came to power out of his training in the KGB, having a more accurate perspective of international realities. Because of this background and a Christian perspective, he was able to craft a new terminology such as “glasnost” and “perestroika” for your people that began a transforming process, which moved the USSR’s despotism in a more humane and democratic direction. It is too bad that Mikhail Sergeevich was unable to contain unintended forces in your country that took over and collapsed the system. It is also too bad that our country’s leaders were not wise enough to understand these forces well enough to allow them to develop the kind of policies that would make “partnering” rather than “dominating” a superior way of contributing to world stability and prosperity.

I pray that your leadership and those who serve your country in these perilous times will lead in the direction of healthy partnering with my country and others, rather than a continuous contest between dominating intentions.

Sincerely,

Eugene N. Kovalenko, Ph.D.
Los Alamos, NM 87544










Friday, January 5, 2018

First NNK Family Round Table

Posted: 5 January 2018
Updated:  9 Jan 18


The table

My Dad
NNK self portrait circa age 60
(Nicholas Kovalenko, aka Nick Kregg, 
aka  Nikolai N. Krijanowski, 
aka Nikolai Nikolaevich Kovalenko)

My first recollection of an NNK family round table occurred in spring 1965. It was actually in a dream where I sat with my late father (NNK) and my mother, who was still alive. Dad had died the previous year on May 14, 1964, which was only a day before his 61st birthday and just a month before I took my doctorate at the University of Utah. I was very happy to see Dad in this intimate inner family setting.

I should say here that near the end of Dad's life the previous year ('64), I was in a deep post-doctoral depression between January 2 and May 14, 1964. (Miraculously, I had successfully defended my doctoral dissertation in February that year. See here for that story. ) During that terrible time, Dad invited me on a sentimental journey to visit the places in Phoenix where I grew up, out of his concern for me and to help comfort me during a confusing time. This week-long or so period was the only time I'd remembered spending such an extended private time with him. Then, only a few weeks later--it was the night before I learned of his death--I suddenly and surprisingly snapped out that 4-1/2 month long terrible depression.  I was surprised not to mourn his death, but felt strongly that my spiritual work had just begun, immediately remembering a powerful spiritual experience with him while on a visit to his California home the previous year (June 1963), just before finishing graduate school at the University of Utah.

This 1965 dream a year later was therefore an exciting surprise, since Dad had never before (in real life) been much interested in my activities other than I was making him proud by my academic achievements. Rather, he had been more interested in my interest in his life, since at his death we had been focusing for the past many months (especially before the depression) on getting his autobiography recorded, beginning with his early life as a boy soldier in the White Army during the Russian Revolution-civil war of 1917-20. Now, almost a year later, and by the time of this dream, I had become interested in several new and esoteric subjects, including other religions, parapsychology and flying saucers. 

In my dream, as I begin to reveal my delight in these new things to Dad's obvious interest, my dream-mother interrupts, frowning with disapproval. I am shocked that she would intrude on this new conversation with my dad (heavenly father?) and awake silent, but furious. I did not know what to make of this dream at the time, other than worry about its meaning.

I was to learn subsequently that this dream signaled the beginning of my disaffection from my TBM [True Blue Mormon] earthly mother and from the Mormon Church. This was because, when I shared this dream with my real life mother the next day, she behaved very much like my dream character of her! Which is to say, she dismissed my dream as nonsense.

It was not nonsense. 

But I had to learn the cause of my fury (as well as the depression) and develop ways to wake up and transform that energy into something positive, including compassion, forgiveness and love.


Sunday, December 24, 2017

Sitting at Family Round Table

Posted: 24 December 2017
Updated: 6 Jan 18


Our Deck Table in Winter
In reflecting on my new family role I began wondering how to proceed before moving to Sweden with wife Birgitta in the next year or so, or before leaving this earthly life. Our deck table (above) gave me an image to ponder. 

On December 22, I received a most welcome dream from my second son, which he shared via email with all of my first family. It was a profound and dramatic contribution to a first family round table discussion. Although I cannot reveal the dream here, he has given us all a first important topic to discuss in depth. I dare say that it addresses the challenge his older brother made to me on my birthday last month, regarding issues that my deceased third son left behind over 20 years ago, which I learned about only recently in my first son's birthday challenge. 

Needless to say, I have been greatly affected by both my oldest son's challenge and my second son's remarkable dream to the family, which directly reveals aspects of the conflict that deeply divided us in the past. 

My second son's dream portends a healing, good will conversation among all family members, their mothers and their aging father (me), who can now see a clearer pathway forward.

So, here I sit at my virtual family round table, waiting for other members from our family to take a seat for heart-to-heart conversations. My son's recent dream (above) was a great first visit. Sharing our dreams with each other is my preferred way to communicate. They get us beyond superficiality and into deeper truths about ourselves and each other.

On 28 Dec 17, my fourth son sent a surprising Christmas gift via email containing a transcription of old recordings between my father and me, dealing with my father's life just after he came to this country after the 1917-20 Russian Revolution-civil war. This son announced that he was taking responsibility for finishing this father-son (my dad and me) project chronicling my dad's life up to the point of meeting my Mormon pioneer mother in Phoenix, Arizona. This son is now gathering all the scattered recordings and writings that my dad and I have left behind with several other family members.

This is another process for reconciling our family history and unresolved family relationships. The path forward has become clearer and brighter still!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Blast from the Past

Posted: 15 December 2017
Updated:


Kovalenko family members at PKMB Party circa 1987
From L to R: Jim, Ivan, Eugene (me), Nick (in back), Michael, Lawrene (Michael's mother) + two of Lawrene's friends

On this, his birthdate (also Jim's), Michael sent this great photo to the family, taken by Jack Houck, creator of the "PK Party". These days the process is referred to as a "PKMB Party" (psychokinesis metal bending or "spoon bending").

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Accepting Role as Family Patriarch

Posted: 7 December 2017  
Updated: 22 Dec 17


Mormon General Conference

It is ironic that the original date of this post should coincide with the anniversary of my being confirmed a member of the Mormon Church as a boy in Phoenix, Arizona. This was the very day that Pearl Harbor was being bombed! I was 8 years old. 

Little did I know what "family patriarch" meant back then, but I soon learned that such a role was defined by the head of the Mormon Church, then considered by the membership to be the only legitimate earthly mouthpiece of God.


Mormon Father blessing his family

Well, that was then. Now it is different. I have four families, two of which (first and third) were born and raised in the Mormon culture. The other two are from different cultures, the second in a Jungian analytic society, the fourth in a Swedish charismatic Christian tradition. The genealogy of my third family goes all the way back to Joseph Knight, protector, patron and disciple of Joseph Smith, Jr., whose son Newell was the first Mormon bishop.

Back then, in my Mormon boyhood years, I learned that "patriarch" was defined in terms of a top down  'dominating' authority. These days I choose to redefine the role of family patriarch in terms of 'partnering', using a round table metaphor, where family members have an equal voice, choosing to relate to each other on the same level. 

One of my daughters-in-law sent me a standard 2-version dictionary definition for this role: 
pa·tri·archˈpātrēˌärk/noun

1. the male head of a family or tribe.
2. any of those biblical figures regarded as fathers of the human race, especially Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, their forefathers, or the sons of Jacob.
We both agreed on the first definition, deliberately avoiding the second.
20, 22 Dec 17. I was motivated to accept this role of "family patriarch" (having avoided it for over 5 decades) because this current earthly life has simply put me into this position and because of recent comments by two people:

1) Ex-wife of my oldest son (mother of a grandson), during a recent crisis in the life of my youngest son and recent suicide of one of my active Mormon granddaughters, whose husband was/is a Mormon bishop. (See Comments)

2) Conversations with the chaplain of local VFW Post at the end of a recent six-week pilot dream work seminar for veterans suffering from PTSD nightmares. We discovered we are both great-grandfathers as well as family patriarchs and agreed to help each other become better grandparents. Whether we two old VFW veterans, at this stage of our lives, can function effectively in this capacity remains to be seen.


To be continued in Part 2: Sitting at the Family Round Table